After oiling out my joints with Sudocrem, a cream traditionally used for nappy rash (so use your imagination of where that went), we were off. Our first stop was at the Scottish border, Gretna Green. I'd recognised the 'Church' that is right on the border from an episode of Waterloo Road last week, yes I'm that cool to have that as part of my Sky+ repertoire. Traditionally this was a place people used to run off to to get married, as they didn't need parental permission. But the main thing we were concerned about was having our photo taken at the border.
Now, two things have happened so far on this trip and have, somehow, developed into a tradition of ours. One is that at every border crossing, whether it being county or country, we've taken each others photo with the 'welcome to' signs. But I have also had the overwhelming urge to go to the toilet at ever border too, like a dog marking it's territory. But our traditions were scuppered at the 'Welcome to Scotland' sign. We'd hit the sign at the exact same time as a few other LEJOGers (Lands End to John O Groats bikers) that had set out at the same time as us.
We have seen them along our trip, but hadn't really spoken to them as of yet. I had given them nicknames that I'd shared with Brooksy, but they all seemed too experienced to give us the time of day. One team is of two guys around their mid-forties. One of them has black hair and a grey beard and the other is a cleanly shaven blonde haired man. I name them; Team Bodger and Badger. Next there is a father and son team. The Dad is hairy, like a bear, and his son is young with long, black, wavy hair, so I called them; Team Jungle Book.
It turns out that we have a nickname too; Team Red Socks. Hardly imaginative, is it? The reason for this is because I have been wearing my Forest football socks, as on the first day I got sunburnt down one side of my body and developed a brown rainbow tan across my body. Unfortunately now not one part of my body is the same colour as another. So, in a bid to avoid being scorched by the sun again I 'Raddy Majewski-d' my socks, pulling them all the way up to where my cycling shorts start, tucking them in so they wont fall down. I thought an more creative/fitting nickname would have involved comparisons to Brad Pitt and Stuart Baggs...
After a monotonous chat with the other LEJOGers, we left. I managed to hold on for a further 50m before finding a Lady GaGa poster to mark my territory on.
My love/hate relationship with bikes developed further today. After gushing yesterday about how I'd enjoyed biking and was 'getting it', I've now made a massive U-Turn. I think it all came about when the words, 'wouldn't it be a cool claim to make, saying that we'd rode over 100 miles in one day on our trip?', came out of my mouth shortly after us making it to 98 miles one day.
BIG mistake.
The conditions could not have been more against us. My style has been to attack the hills, going full pelt up and coasting down the other-side to recover. But the roads were so bumpy, and the head winds were so strong it felt like riding uphill going down. In fact, at one point going down, on what should have a been a decent down hill stretch, i stopped peddling. Within 10m I'd ground to a complete stop.
Whilst shouting continuous obscenities at the wind, I'd noticed a wind farm at the top of one of the hills. It just displayed how much wind there was, I've seen jet engine blades rotate slower! I was pretty sure the hill was about to take off, like the giant fruit in James and the Giant Peach. This wouldn't have been a bad thing at all, as it would've given us one less one to bike over.
I felt tired the entire last 3 hours of biking. It was horrendous. My body felt fine, but my energy levels had been zapped.
When we arrived at 'Sandy bum crack', to be honest I only half heartily read the sign, we were greeted by Brooksy's Dad, and I've never been more happy to see him. Nearly 12 hours we'd been on our bikes!
We were staying at another one of those 'Fun parks'. We resisted our token of a free face paint, and instead went to the fish and chip shop. I had deep fried haggis and deep fried black pudding with chips. It's no wonder that Scotland is the most obese nation in Europe. I even saw deep fried pizza on the menu!
Steve informed us that this is the most expensive caravan site we'd stayed on yet, £27 for one night!!!
For this ludicrous fee we had to use portaloo's, as the regular toilet block had fallen down. Also, we were on a railway line and freight trains travel frequently at night. Brilliant.
But every cloud, we'd been given one complementary 'Adult fun pass', redeemable for one free Kareoke song of our choice at the 'Fun bar'. Now what should I sing.... 'Highway to hell?'.... 'Bicycle race' by Queen? .... In fact the only lyric I've got stuck in my head at the moment is about everyone knowing that Badger loves mashed potatoes!
Miles today: 108.0
Miles total: 605.9
Total time spent on bike: 11:45
Number of times I thought Brooksy had gone the wrong way: 17
Location:Carlisle - Irving (Scotland)
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